Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Of Mice and Me

I could have an entire blog dedicated to my utter repugnance to mice and all things rodents. I abhor, detest, loath, despise and any other strong word for hate those little devils. Anything that carries diseases, poops and pees in your house, chews things and keeps you up or wakes you up, all uninvited I might add, can be nothing but vile. If Walt Disney were still alive, I’d chastise him for his gross misrepresentation of the creatures.

I have managed to live in two homes that harbor the devils. I moved out of one apartment to get away from them, it appears they have it out for me. I have a very nice apartment in a field that is behind a house in Brooks. It’s a beautiful view and a spacious apartment, which I love. Mice apparently are partial to it as well. They scurry around in the attic either late at night keeping me up or early in the morning waking me up. Then occasionally they like to frequent a kitchen cabinet and defile it with their presents.

I have more knowledge of mice and getting rid of them than one human should ever possess. If I had a cat for every time I was told to get a cat, I could run a feline factory. My neighbor has cats and I’ve seen them feasting on the bounty. The bottom line on mice annihilation is it requires hard work to figure out how they’re getting in and cutting off their access. Unfortunately, my landlords do not embrace this philosophy. Their suggestions have been to a. get a cat, b. get a cat c., get a cat, and d (my favorite) get a husband. Granted my landlords are friends and have been good to me they just don’t share my paranoia of mice.

I obsess over cleanliness and constantly live with one ear listening for them. There are runaway brides, I fear I’m a runaway tenant! If I see one, I’ve only seen one live one, I’m out of there in 30 seconds flat. I never write poems, but felt the need to compose a memoir of my plight.

Noises in my attic
Scratching in my walls
Scurrying 's scaring me half to death
Looks like I’ve got guests
I’ve tried poisons
I’ve tried traps
But still I’ve got them nasty guests
I’ve fussed
I’ve cursed
And tried to pray
But it appears they want to stay
Father, Friend and Pest Control have tried to make them go!
But NO
Still I’ve got them bloody guests!
So listen hear you stubborn pests!
I’ m gonna hire me another guest
We’ll call her Bob Cat Sue
And feed you to her two by two!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Origins

I must confess, the title of my blog is unoriginal. My friend, Will Brown, gets all the credit for the genius with the establishment of his website, http://www.thewillbrown.com/. (his site and life are an inspiration) However, I adapted his greatness on a smaller scale, I'm not cool enough to have my own website. Perhaps one day I'll create a website, until then a blog it is!