I don’t like grocery shopping. It stopped being fun for me, when I could no longer wander around with my mother talking her ear off and enjoying the free cookies. Now I simply wander around thinking, “if I were parmesan cheese where would I be?” Seriously, who decides the grouping of groceries? How I’m I to know tortillas may not be on the bread aisle, but on the ethnic food aisle? I always manage, numerous times, to get to the back of the store only to remember I forgot something at the front of the store.
However, what I detest the most is having forty-five options of everything. If you run into me in the grocery store, you’ll likely find me on the phone asking my mother or some other soul, “what the heck is the difference in unbleached, bleached flour, how much do I buy of such and such etc. etc.. Yuck! It’s not that I don’t appreciate variety; it’s that no matter how long I stand and stare I still get home to surprises. For instance, after eating almost an entire package of turkey I finally realized why it tasted weird, it was honey turkey, which I don’t buy! Extra large eggs versus large eggs. The wrong type of milk ….
Then today at lunch I decide I’ll have some pickles that I just bought. In attempting to open them, I couldn’t figure out why I smelled something hot. Who knew you could buy pickles with texas pete hot sauce? Not only that but petite kosher dills with texas pete hot sauce. Fortunately, I eat hot things, you’d think if they were going to put hot sauce in pickles they’d make the font stand out. What makes the pickle ordeal even worse, was I stood on the pickle aisle for ever because they were buy one get one free and I couldn’t figure out if they were all buy one free or just certain types. I got it wrong and had to make a mad dash back to the pickle aisle at the register. Only the jar I grabbed in a rush was right!
When it comes to the Elizabeth Highsmith and grocery shopping...you can find her in a pickle! And she might just sell you her hot pickles for a nickle.