Monday, September 14, 2009

The Lost Art of The Letter

Dear Mac,
Some people think you're cute, I do too. But that's where the love stops. It's not working out between us. I want a divorce.

P.S. Please tell Steve I hope he chokes on an Apple.

Love,
Elizabeth

Dear Martha,
Some people don't like you, probably because you went to j-a-i-l. I think they're afraid of your crafty powers. In fact I'm a little scarred of your mad decorating skills, but when I am in stores and see your ooddles of glitter, I think to myself, I like you Martha, I like you. Just thought you should know.

Love,
Elizabeth

Dear Blogger,

Happy birthday. How about sharing some of that cake you're so proudly flaunting? And while I'm at it you're ten now how about letting us center our photos and edit our headers without needing an IT degree. I'm just saying it would be a nice party favor and all.

Love,
Elizabeth


Dear Self,

Seriously groucho, are you campaigning to change our name to Grump and Frump? If you were a pentecostal you'd have to get saved again, possibly up to ten times a day. For the love of Pete and cracker jacks act like you love Jesus. Grumps has got to go. On to frump, if you have any aspirations of getting married for the love of all things cute get your freaking self out of the bed in the morning and vanquish frump by letting the universe know you care and that you own mascara and pretty clothes.

Love,
Elizabeth

Dear Pentecostals,

Self has no hate for you only love.

Love,
Elizabeth

4 comments:

  1. Dear Blog,

    I am sorry that no one reads you or writes you little love note comments. If I was a random stranger I would read you and love you and like you. Please don't be depressed, I think you're cute.

    Love,
    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Elizabeth,

    I just found your blog today, though I may have popped over before? I've only read one post so far, but I think you are cute....and fun...and so not frumpy (though I like frumpy since it's my real nickname!)

    Love,
    A stranger and fellow blogger :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've been meaning to get over here..I'm a little behind on my girl's blog!!

    ~~If you were a pentecostal you'd have to get saved again, possibly up to ten times a day. For the love of Pete and cracker jacks act like you love Jesus.~~

    I.adore.you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OH and Mimi is my friend...glad she came over to see you!

    ReplyDelete

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