Sunday, December 26, 2010

For Edie

It was late and I drove home. Roads I know, miles crossed again and again. Only the road I traveled led to a new familiar, to a knew home. I ached for it, the left hand turn, west on 16 the turns that would take me back. Back to my barn, back to my old home. I wanted my drive way, my light switch, my door way, every wall, every angle that I knew so well. Only it was gone, never again to be home to me. The well of want broke my heart and tears spilled down my cheeks. I drove on to my new home. To my home that smells, that is old and is mostly unwanted. I dreaded the last turn, the turn into my drive way. How often in the last few days I inched up it's long gravel wishing for all I was worth that it didn't have to be, that I didn't have to go up and live in that house. That I didn't have to climb it's stairs, turn it's key, be it's tenant. Yet in that moment in that dark hour, I knew it had to be. For when you can't go back, you have to go up.

Words penned last summer, never posted feeling too raw. The summer I lost my barn apartment. The summer of anger, grace and redemption. Funny how hurts and pains sometimes melt like Christmas snow. My summer's hurt last night remembered, how miniscule it rallied against the knowledge of precious Edie's ashes. Unfathomable and incomprehensible these hurts of life married up against the blessed good. Edie, I wanted nothing more than to jump in my car and drive to east Tennessee and bring you a lamp and a copy of the Lutheran Prayer book, hug you good, share in tears and maybe throw a fit and few hefty, why's? Yet tangible presence pales in comparison to His ever presence. When we can't go back and when we can't even go up, He remains.  My words are small, my understanding smaller, praying our God who's not will be an ever present help in this time of trouble, sweet woman.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in

From this time forth, and even forevermore.

Friday, December 24, 2010

And I Wonder...

Baby Jesus born in Bethlehem, seems so far away. Christmas time when angels sing and hearts make merry and wonder stirs. I find I  wonder most why I do not wonder more. I believe and say with ease, yet softly I wonder, do I really, believe? To heart's that don't does it sound like fiction, smoke and reindeer sleighs, silly babble and cultish way? I sit coffee handed gazing at the lights and I feel it stir, holy wonder. Baby Jesus, lowly lain in a manager doesn't seem so odd nor far away when I know Immanuel, God with me. Christmas here and Jesus dwells in lowly sometimes doubting girl. Grateful on this Christmas Eve noon for Jesus, the Redeemer. Wishing you the happiest of Christmases and the hope of Him.

427. For Christmas trees
428. For cookies for breakfast
429. For hope restored
430. For His Spirit
431. For a reminder that Santa Claus theology doesn't work (if you read that post i hereby grant you one skip day from church)
432. For my Redeemer

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Bobbleheaded Sleepy Girl

Today's nourishment demanded four five cups of coffee and toothpicks for my eyes. Five hours of sleep did not go unnoticed by coworkers. "You look tired, you don't look like you feel good? "Ken, came  home yesterday and said Elizabeth doesn't look like she's feeling well." That was yesterday, pre sleep deprivation. Nothing, like being told you're looking rough when you're feeling tolerable. Nothing, like being told you're looking rough when you're feeling rough. Here's to looking ugly and scrooge-ilish Christmas well wishers.

To sleep I’d slip
If I could
I’d slip and slip
And slip some more
Until at sleep I stood
I’d sleep and sleep
And sleep some more
To sleep I’d slip
If I could
And sleep I would.

And visions of sleeping under her desk danced in her head and to all a good night

Sunday, December 12, 2010


The wind has been a howling and it is cold. What good ole Winnie would term a blustery day. Dreary, gray days seem to nod approval to a slower pace, instead of frowning upon lazy slowness I think they clap a little. Sinatra sings, mugs have been full and tree glows beauty. And I think to myself what a wonderful world at Christmas time. Lyrics stir my thoughts and I am awed once more that the soul felt it's worth, because baby came. Joy to the world a Savior is born. Grateful for words to string and thanks to give.

404. for slow days
405. for heat
406. for pretty christmas presents
407. for gingerbread cupcakes
408. for hot coffee
409. for prayer journals
410. for Christmas time
411. for my "rat pack" Christmas cd
412. for snow flakes
413. for Christmas music
414. for salted carmel hot chocolate
415. for the Gaddy's spectacular Christmas lights
416. for the tour of homes
417. for friends who understand
418. for babies
419. for today
420. for Hope
421. for Christmas lights on my street
422. for a Christmas card in the mail
423. for gray yarn
424. for lentil soup
425. for hot fudge sundaes
426. for His birth

Monday, December 6, 2010

What I Wore Today

Low and behold we have documentation of what I wore in real time. I have an a sundry of reasons why. We'll start with I just finished No Country For Old Men, and there's no way I have the courage for sleep yet. Then there's the fact I frankly am not thrilled with the day's duds. Getting out the door was of the utmost concern. I picked this here number out and donned it in under 5 minutes flat. Yes, I am talented. Moving on to the more positive reasons, it is Christmas and I thought you might want to see my new Christmas banner. Who are we kidding, I wanted to show her off. Her name is Hope, isn't she beautiful? Mad props to my friend Melissa who generously shares her Cricut with me. Final reason, I felt the need to rub in the fact I have blue shag and you don't. My apologies for the mediocre photos I had coffee and strudel and catching up on the royals to attend to.

William, Kate seems like a very nice girl therefore, I will forgive you for picking her over me. Colin, you are without excuse call me, pronto.

What I wore to today: (ok for about an eighth of the day, i save myself for the finer things in life hello, sweats you are my bff of the day)

Sweater: Lizzard Thicket (local boutique) Jeans: H&M, Boots: Liz Claiborne back before she sold herself to J.C.Penney, sell out, bracelet, my mother's closet many moons ago, necklace thrifted, ring, north georgia shindig (also known as a craft sale, hoopala)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

What I Wore On A Sunday

If as a little girl you were vehemently opposed to velcro tennis shoes, you will probably grow up to wear red high heels, even if you think your feet will fall off, probably. Several hours in I was questioning my ability to walk, these shoes were not made for walking just for feeling pretty. And if you ever wondered why models don't smile, their feet hurt that's why and they're hungry, probably.

What I wore To church and running errands.

Shirt: The Loft, Jeans: H&M, Belt: Gap, Bracelets: Premier Jewelry, Shoes: Urban Outfitters, Clutch: Target

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Count

Had you asked back in April if I thought I’d be farther along in the numbering of my thanks by now, I’d have said yes. And I would have said I’d be remiss to let thanksgiving slip by without adding to my log. While it’s taking longer than I would have estimated, I have to remind myself a number isn’t my goal, my goal is to be thankful. Whether it’s through pen on a card, or words on a page, or numbers on a blog, or thoughts in my head, or smiles on my face, the goal is that I’ll be grateful. The numbers are simply to steer me in the right direction, to remind me thanks isn’t natural, it’s intentional.

Since I’ve started tapping out numbers I’m not even sure I gripe less, or that my complaining and grouching has subsided. But this I know, thanks is powerful. It turns me around, puts me back on my feet, and binds up the wounds of living. Just a sinner saved by grace, always wanting more forgetting what I have. So I pray for eyes to see and count to remember that gratitude lifts the chains of life’s heaviness.

384. for tea at work
385. for thanksgiving weekends
386. for time with loved ones
387. for laughing
388. for "Miss" Sharon's crazy laugh
389. for pumpkin cheesecake
390. for getting out of a meeting 40 minutes early
391. for the brother that baked the turkey and a whole heap more
392. for thanksgiving dinner
393. for black friday tradition shopping with Melissa
394. for vegetarian chili
395. for a sister who gives the best compliments
396. for the first glimpse of the Christmas tree's light
397. for the glow of the lights on the tree
398. for my new snowman mug
399. for downtown Christmas decorations
400. for Christmas gift shopping
401. for these numbers
402. for His unchanging grace
403. for the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Memory and Truth

My memory searched for them, words to a chorus learned on a mission trip. They evaded me for most of the day. I even thought I'd found them and hummed along the wrong words until out on a walk words came rushing home. As the sky stretched out endless blue, fading day, I played these words again. "All that I need is you, Jesus, All that I need is you, from early in the morning till late at night all that I need is you." Such a simple song how could my memory forget? But it does and that I live. Wanting so very many things from pretty frocks, to love, to triumph over all that falls short, all these things I want when He is all that I need. I have Christ, I have life. I have redemption, I have hope, I have His ever presence. Sometimes it seems so silly, so trite, to say He's all we need. But it is true and it's truth has found me time after time. My prayer at the end of this Sunday is that His truth will find you too. And together we'll sing, "All that I need is you, Jesus, All that I need is you, from early in the morning till late at night all that I need is you."

381. for Him finding me
382. for His loving me, who wants so much
383. for having all that I need.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

All My Hope and Stay

Sunday had me a bit wobbly processing the morning’s message, wondering again at being a believer. Am I getting it right? Am I walking it straight?  So often not, But my shaky, clumsy feet found their footing once again as guitars strummed and voices raised. "On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand." May your feet rest on His unchanging grace.

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

359. for hymns with a message
360. for music's power
361. for tea bags with strings
362. for a quick three minute drive to work
363. for my friend John
364. for the warmth of a hot mug in my hands
365. for lists
366. for company
367. for homemade soup
368. for fresh baked pumpkin bread
369. for coffee creamers
370. for Edie
371. for makeup
372. for pony tails
373. for my space heater at work
374. for the warmth of sheets, and comforters
375. for the approaching Christmas season
376. for days off for Thanksgiving approaching
377. for the huge orange tree in my front yard
378. for the sound of a flock of birds swooping by
379. for being dressed in His righteousness alone
380. for the anchor of Christ's mercy and grace

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Prayers and Photos

She sunbathed out on her back deck with a pale yellow sheet. Grab a towel from the mother, don a bathing suit and the 1980 something giant yellow headphones and I was there, on the drive way mimicking the grown up neighbor next door, thinking "we are cool." I was four. And now I'm older and I drag a table and a beat up old digital camera out into the yard. And somewhere on picture one too many, I think to myself, "we are not cool."

I need a husband with mad photography skills to come take my pictures. One like Kendi has, she's cool ubberly, utterly cool and hilarious. I adore her blog. Back to mourning, If you're praying for me a husband, pray harder, pray he can take a decent picture, or convenience me I'm beautiful in mismatched sweats. Amen

What I wore to church (last week), shopping and lounging about barnes and noble. For the record I bought a big fat whopping nuttin. Fine, I bought a little food, a girl has to live.

Blazer: Target, Turtlneck: banana republic, jeans: H&M, Boots: Vintage, necklace, via my granjanie, bracelets, gift (kate spade)

353. for my cowgirl boots
354. for getting the comfy chair at barnes and noble
355. for silly blog features to document your duds
356. for strangers compliments
357. for the ability to read magazines for free
358. for sundays

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

People will read your blog; people you know will read your blog and quite possibly not tell you. I'll save my rant on the "not letting you know" for another day, you're welcome. If anyone is out there thinking, "why golly, this is the vainest thing she's ever done" you're wrong. 99 % sure I've taken stock of every mirror I've ever come in contact with, I'm sure that trumps taking pictures of myself and letting the world see them. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall means I must look at them all, it's grafted into my DNA. I'm pulling a famous Elizabeth tangent. Want to know what I wore? Thought so

I've gone and done it two weeks in a row, waited until Sunday, what I deem the end of the week, to remember, "Hey, I said I'd document one getup a week."

Getup it is, cause I'm always running late and the past two outfits have been get up and GO! Have I mentioned my affinity for cheesiness? Afraid so

Let's call this one Sunday's thoughtless frocks. What I wore churching it and movie-going it, Amen and pass the plate, mama wants a new pair of shoes.

Shirt: banana republic, jeans: j crew, belt: gap (yellow? i know, don't judge she's the only lady up for the challenge) necklace: thrifted, boots: vintage, vanity: free

Tune in later in the week for more vain on Sunday...

Monday, November 8, 2010

Unmovable Grace

Saved by grace, amazing grace, though, I confess I'm not always amazed by it. Sunday's message was on my Savior's crucifixtion, His great suffering. I wonder that my heart doesn't move more, stir more. Sometimes it moves more than others. My heart occasionally responds with emotion and other times with simple knowledge, knowing that His grace is unfathomable.  Grateful that His grace isn't measured by my measly gratitude or earned by my merits. Firmly planted in the cement of His grace only to be moved to heaven where gratefulness will finely be full.
"Oh, bless our God, you peoples! And make the voice of His praise to be heard. Who keeps our soul among the living, and does not allow our feet to be moved..." Psalm 66:8-9 

330. For leaves falling from trees
331. For falls pretty changing leaves
332. For getting out of a meeting 45 minutes early
333. For rice and beans
334. For finishing a big task
335. For wild flowers in the median
336. For peanut butter m&ms
337. For tea at work
338. For red shoes coming in the mail
339. For opportunities to cross things off my yearly list of pursuits
340. For scripture speaking to my situation
341. For macaroni and cheese
342. For knitting
343. For Saturdays to myself
344. For a $0.52 ice cream cone
345. For an apple pie for $0.54
346. For getting to sit with a friend in church
347. For a pastor who his careful to proclaim 'by grace alone'
348. For an extra hour
349. For the light being back in the mornings
350. For glimpsing day light as I wake again
351. For restful, full nights of sleep
352. For feet that cannot be moved from His grace

holy experience

Sunday, October 31, 2010

What I Wore-Take Two

This week has almost made a liar out of me. Nonetheless, here's what I wore weekending it. Last weekend that is. A two hour drive with a best friend and a promise of a black berry milk shake at the end of it make for a giddy Elizabeth. I was Christmas Eve little girl kind of excited and the weekend didn't disappoint. Lazying, Laughing, Talking, Eating, Visiting, it was that kind of good. Best friend weekends are well, the best.

outfit one: cardigan and shirt: j crew, jeans: the loft, shoes: old navy, necklace: vintage via my granjanie, bag: liz claiborne i love my bag, i'm naming my bag, i think he's male yes I know he's quite the metro)

outfit two: blazer: gap, shirt: old navy, jeans: j crew, necklace :vintage via my granjanie
(shoes: gift from India, where sizes are guesses and lefts and rights are not. they are an experiment in modern day foot binding, my big toes were screaming for a divorce)

outfit three: this is simply to show you the best friend. She truly is the best, the end

Monday, October 25, 2010

Three Hundred and Twenty Nine...

305. For orange roses washed in the sun

306. For leaves on the ground walking to the mailbox
307. For the reflection of autumn leaves and sun on the water
308. For gorgeous drives in the country
309. For dairy cows happily eating in pastures
310. For rows of uniform trees in orchards
311. For the brillant setting sun out in the country
312. For a sunset accompanying the last leg of the journey
313. For being served tea on a Sunday afternoon

314. For baby clothes for a $4 bargain

315. For simple craft projects

316. For baked goods and treats to give away

317. For sugar cubes
318. For rich desserts and rich conversation
319. For playing dress up
320. For fellowship
321. For warm, welcoming hospitality
322. For apple tart
323. For good hugs
324. For the golden setting sun on the neighbors brilliant orange tree
325. For walks among the changing leaves
326. For a friend's praise
327. For dinner and a movie at the end of the day
328. For happy daises in recycled glass jars

329. For a God who gives

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What I Wore

I arrived into the world at noon, clearly even as a wee babe, I had my priorities in order. I'm a sleeper, I enjoy my sleep. This only proves detrimental every live long morning. Weekly, I tell myself I'll plan my outfits ahead, Ha. Weekly I do a mad dash throw on clothes pre-five minutes to take off. Lately, I've been snubbing my wardrobe. I think the stink eye has much a do with my mayday mornings.

This is an attempt to document my fashion choices and to motivate better dressing through a weekly, "what I wore" feature. This is a one outfit a week endeavor, my vanity cannot stand up to daily documentation. I enjoy a good fashion blog and I gotta hand it to um, it's a a lot of work. Self photography ain't easy, for me no photography is. This could potentially not be hacked, nonetheless here you go, my first installment...In which I attempt to balance out vanity with apples. I only regret I did not immortalize my corn dog with a photo opt.

Blouse: Gap, Jeans: J Crew, Purse: DSW (subject of much shunning due to her "size") Boots: Vintage via an antique store. (i put in new inserts, lysoled them, and may or may not have laid hands on them to nix any heebie jeebie germs)

*There is an actual, factual, fantastical What I Wore blog, clearly making this a non-original thought. Go forth and be cute or at least dream about it....

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Oh, Baby.....

She is having a baby, any day now.

She has a baby, cuter than pie.

She wants a baby, something fierce. (She should also fix her hair and work out her scrawny brawny arms)

Since she can't have baby, she gets by on a little help from her friends.

She is so thankful for her friends and their babies, and for friends who help throw sweet soirees for little pink buntings.

We had a tea party baby shower for our sweet baby girl, Claire.

It rained buckets so the pictures are inadequate, for it was the sweetest little shin dig. Everyone was kind and happy and there were babies and really precious mamas. And chocolate cake, what more can you ask for?

Except maybe some gifts for our girl.

I copy cated the talent of Ashley Ann and made the girl a bag and little fruit of the womb onesies. Claire's mama updated her facebook status with progress of the little sweet pea, "traci's baby is the size of a grape..."

 The onesies will grow with the girl.

Claire baby, we had fun getting ready for you. Please come meet us soon and be good to your mommy on the way here. We love you.

304. for babies

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Fall-A-la-la-Live for Today...

Fall and I are getting along swimmingly. It is much in part to his flirting with summer, they've heated things back up into the 80's. God bless his heart. I'm standing by the man though, I honored him in my choice of ice cream, just call us pumpkin. When he dipped into the nightly 40's and daily low 70's I tempered my whinning with tea. I'm changing my name to something British. I had to bust out the British accent last week when I went a little crazy upon finding the tea's on sale. Four boxes isn't too much, when comes lunch time and you realize you've gulped down six cups. My co-workers think I have kidney disease.

Farmer's market Saturday sorta had me contemplating decorating for fall, sorta. If it happens I refuse for it to look overly fall-esque. Spring would be jealous. Speaking of the fall folige decor what in sams name are the warty pumpkins about? I had to refrain from belting out, "Excuse me Sir, your pumpkin has warts, you paid for that?" Fall weirdo's! Sorry I'll shut up if you give me s'mores.

Pondering starting a What I Wore feature on here, my vanity wants an outlet. We'll see.

For now, I'll mind my manners and count up some thankful fors...

285. for hot tea
286. for warm robes
287. for farmer markets on saturdays
288. for warm soup
289. for biscuits and jam
290. for the feeling right before turning off the light and closing your eyes
291. for fresh flowers
292. for candy corn
293. for my mama's apple cake, wow mama good!
294. for my sister's homemade granola
295. for a dollar hard back copy of the giving tree
296. for matinee's on Sundays
297. for baby girl clothes
298. for chili
299. for old friends
300. for a nearby house's blowup fall decor
301. for toasted marshmallows
302. for abundant and pretty goldenrod along the roads
303. for God's beautiful creation