Saturday, January 30, 2010

So, Here's the Scoop.........

There’s been a bit of drama in my house since my last post. Apparently, Miss Priss, who’s caused an uproar in the utensil drawer is all bent out of shape. 

She’s claiming I took all the credit in saving the cupcakes. And she won’t hush about it, and the other utensils are threatening a mutiny. Her outrage has been grating on Mr. Cheese’s nerves, and pressing on Mr. Garlic’s patience. The spoons are too busy spooning to pay her much attention. But the spatulas are flipping out over the spat and insist I shut her up. So as I pinky promised her, here she is Her Royal Highness, who helped save the cupcakes. She’s begrudgingly known around these parts as, “The Pretty Pink Princess.” She’s really gripped about her icy reception. You know what they say about those Divas, "They can dish it out, they just can’t take it."

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I Call My Sugar Candy

I’ve had a twinge of guilt over my indiscretion with Mr. Hershey; I don’t want the blog world thinking I’m an amoral floozy. Any concerned readers will be happy to note I’ve redeemed myself. I had naked cupcakes crying out for mercy; their maker abandoned them once the whipped cream made in their honor became too runny. That merciless woman took her wimpy whipped cream and ran straight for the coffee, Sinner. Saint that I am, I answered the cupcakes desperado with salvation. I covered their shame with a clothing of ice cream and hugged them with hot fudge. Then I gave um a kiss and made it all better. I've affectionately dubbed them double kissing on a sundae.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

You Are Now Entering the Twilight Zone

Occasionally my teeth fall out, I lose my way, cuss folks out, make babies, and forget articles of clothing. Then I wake up, jump out of bed sing the hallelujah chorus find my tennis shoes and charge down the straight and narrow and belt out I walk the line. The land between dreams and conscious, is my personal navigational buoy that anchors me to the good ship lollipop. Cause not knowing who your baby daddy is and delivering a speech in the buff and cussing down your family is the guilt that sinks ships. But a clean conscience is the stuff that floats the boat. What you talking bout, Folgers? The best part of waking up is knowing that ain’t no baby bump, it’s just last night’s pizza.

Monday, January 25, 2010

As The World Turns

I happened upon a blog several months back that made me uncomfortably squirm. It rattled my nerves and shook my ideal. Katie Davis is a twenty year old mother to thirteen (now fourteen) adopted children in Uganda. She started a feeding program for the least of these in Africa. I sat there reading of her life, of her sacrifices and I felt small, and like crawling under the desk because my life is predominantly focused on me. Suddenly watching Gilmore Girls didn't sound fun and my ice cream tasted bland. I thought about writing a post about her and about donating to her ministry, but I didn't. Nope, I got comfortable with me again. I am so big and my world is so small. I know that is why I need Christ, because I am flawed and fallen. I am so grateful for His mercy and free redemption of my life.

Haiti, a death toll in the two hundreds of thousands, it’s unfathomable. Mostly, I cannot fathom why I'm not more moved by it, why I'm not more shaken? It speaks to the temporal in this life, to the frailty we all possess.

Christ in me the hope of glory. Christ, my only hope. My current Bible study resonated in my spirit when it defined Christ's glory as Christ revealing Himself to the world. Glorifying God by knowing Him and by making Him known should be my aim. A God who Himself is unsearchable yet who can be known. I don't know why catastrophic disasters like Haiti happen, or why I was born here and not in Cambodia. One thing I know is He is faithful. He's faithful when I'm not, faithful when I'm far, He's always faithful. He can handle my realness, my questions and He can handle yours.

How do I answer something like Haiti? Do I say a quick prayer, send a quick buck and soothe my conscience? Do I sale all my possessions and board the nearest jet plane for no man's land? Donations, prayers, acts of mercy, all so vital. Haiti has served as a reminder that I need to shift my focus from myself to others.  Yes, I need to respond to this global crisis with more than just my words. I also need to see the everyday needs that surround me. Listening when I feel like being silent, not rolling my eyes when a sales clerk makes a blunder, giving when it’s not convenient, extending myself when I’d rather be alone. Serving despite my feelings, will I fail? You bet. But through Christ's grace my prayer is that as this world continues to turn I'll see it a little more and me a little less.

Take a look at Katie’s world you will be blessed and challenged.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Hershey's Kiss?

I went on a date,
With Him.

We went to the movies, alone.
And when the lights went down,
I unwrapped him.
Then we made out.
Don't Judge,
It's love,
True love.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Waits, Party of Two

I repent
I recant
I will fill up my glass (half way of course)
I will put down my axe
I will throw caution to the wind and positive up
So here I am, waving my white flag
Calling a truce
Come on Winter, I'll get us some hot chocolate.

Lucky for winter I started a new Bible study, Breaking Free, thus the change in temperature around these parts. "Alright, Alright I'm coming........I know, I know you like your cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream. Yes, Winter ,Yes we have to listen to You Can't Hold Back Spring, AGAIN!  It's a great song and my dear friend, Beth is right Mr. Waits sounds like the Big Bad Wolf is serenading you. I'm sorry he scares you, Winter. Drink your chocolate goodness and chill, just chill Winter, Just Chill."

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Picking Up My Axe & Toothpaste

I can't do it anymore
I'm going towards the light
I've got a cold
I feel puny
It's all winter's fault
See you when comes the spring.

Oh and I need toothpaste. I really, really need to buy toothpaste. That's it, all I've got.
A lack of toothpaste
And an axe to grind.
Winter, Oh Winter, Come here, boy..............

Monday, January 11, 2010

M&M's, It's What the Doctor Ordered

I left my heart in summer, I had it shipped in for Christmas, now it's back on life support. Clearly I'm nursing a grudge. I've pledged to put down my axe. Howbeit nothing makes me want to get back to grinding like waking up to 13 degrees! I think I've found hope though in my pal Mimi. She hides under the guise of frump, wonder women mama and husband to G, which i think stands for Good looking? I'm just saying they're an eye appealing bunch. This Mimi I reference ,well I think she's a therapist.

She's offered the following cures to winter's blah, blah black sheep via email.

1. Jumping Jacks
I got to 12 before I bought peed my pants, but they worked. I felt better.

2. Mindless TV & Chocolate Goodness
She offered up the Bachelor and microwaved zapped m&ms on a platter and I helped myself. I can't wait to micro blast some m&ms. I tell you, Mimi is the stuff that couches are made of.  I'm afraid she's going to start charging so I'm off.... back to my regimen........Thud, Thud, Crunch, Crunch.

How bout you, got any remedies to cure winter's gloom & doom? I'm all ears.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Little House on the Dreary

You can color us black and paint us morose.........
My house and I
We mourn in lonely exile here
We officially took down Christmas
We watched our final episode of Gilmore Girls
We are in the thick of winter
We weep
We wail
We hover beneath our little dark rain cloud
My house and I
I think I'll go and buy us flowers
and more ice cream.....
Today, we wallow in our doldrums
Tomorrow, we pick a new tv series.........

Don't worry Gilmore Girls, we'll always love you most.


Friday, January 8, 2010

Winter Prison Blues

I hear the train a comin'
It's rolling round the bend
And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when,
I'm stuck in Winter’s prison, and time keeps draggin' on…….

Winter is my folsom prison. His cold hearted, dark sinister ways bar me up within the confines of my house. Yet, despite my bellyaching and moaning and fierce scowls in his direction, he comes, every year just rolling round the bend. Three long months, that's how long Mr. Winter owns me. He locks me up and throws away the key. I can fight it, I can kick and scream and I do, but it doesn't change the fact that for three whole months winter is here to stay. I'm going to make a conscious effort this year to do my time with a positive outlook. Otherwise, I fear I'll come down with a mad case of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and attempt to tunnel my way to Hawaii. This positivity I attempt to embrace means I'll be hiding under blankets and swimming in all manner of hot beverages. Hot chocolate, that's about all Old Man Winter has going for him. Maybe he'll let me out early for good behavior. Only 70 more days until my release.....

Well, I hope your cell is warm and toasty. I've gotta go, visiting hours are over.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I think Georgia's Playing Hide & Seek with Antarctica

Um Father Abraham,
Mother Teresa,
Joan of Ark,

Could someone up there please turn up the heat? I'm dying down here.

Sincerely Yours,
A Frozen Peach

Saturday, January 2, 2010

364 More....Please


I went nowhere
I wore pjs all day
I watched two movies
I colored with crayons
I ate ice cream in the afternoon
I painted my toenails, purple with glitter
I painted my fingernails
I looked at magazines
I talked and laughed with my best friend
I slept in
I had a good day.

It's going to be a good year. Happy New Year!