Friday, February 26, 2010

All Crushed Up

Upon viewing John Krasinski in Away we Go, away he went. Down went my love, away went my accolades and affections, off went my JK crush. He knows what he did. But last Saturday we met again, in It's complicated. All losses are restored and my sorrow has reached it's end. Welcome back, John. Welcome back. Did you miss me?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Whining and PIE-ning

Last night I dreamed I had a house full of hungry, dinner guests.  I grew so frustrated in my dinner preparations, that I took my whole chicken right to the trash and chucked it. So there I stood with famished guests and nothing but a trash can full of raw chicken. Frozen pizza that was all I had to offer, one small measly insufficient frozen pizza.  As I pondered the oddity of my dream I wondered if it parallels my blog sentiments. I've been reading Shell Silverstein,  thus my need to express myself through a "poem". My apologies to all.....

I've been a blogger for almost a year
Told myself I wouldn't grovel for lack of readers far or near
Yet I find in me the need to be real
And tell you how I sometimes feel
Small
Insignificant
And unread.
How worrisome
How bothersome
To find within myself this neediness.
Measuring my worth
By comments and readers?
Counting,
Comparing
Only leads to my despairing
So now you know the truth
I whine
I pine
I grovel too
I've been a blogger for almost a year...

To my handful of sweet, faithful, readers, thank you for letting me wallow. I am much obliged to you, for continuing to eat whatever I plate up, even when it's frozen pizza. You're not supposed to cry over spilled milk, how about pie?

The lead actress in the movie the Waitress made pies and then proceeded to name them long, venting, rambling names.  Without further ado I give to you, "Thanks for letting me throw a pity party, I'm going to take a bite and feel better pie."
Want some?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Oh My Darling, Oh My Darling.........

Oh My Darling, Valentine!
Ok so it's "Clementine" but who wants to speak of fruit on a day of hearts and chocolate?
Not I says the girl who buys herself frivolous presents on the day of love. Wanna know what I bought last year? I thought so.

A red dress. My "I'm young and single and can buy a red dress if I want to dress." The "I'm gonna get me a fella and go on a hot date dress." That hope lasted until December at which point I said REaDy or not, I'm wearing my dress. Dream when you're feeling blue? Oh, please! Buy yourself a red dress and go out on the town with your girlfriends, that works just as well.

I am perfectly at peace with Valentine's day, even without a Valentine. I only had one fight with Valentine's Day, in which I wore black and ignored him and spent the day cursing Hallmark. He wooed me back with a box of chocolates. Now we spend our time making Valentine goodies for little old ladies,
googling vintage Valentine cards, and reminiscing on the glory days of elementary school.


I had no grammar school love triangles, pretty sure it was because I was about two heads taller than my male classmates. That and I was in love with Matthew Laughlin, mmmm, a high schooler  who had fancy cars. He asked me for a piece of paper once, that sealed the deal on our marriage. The lack of young love worked well for me. I was able to spend my time diligently searching for the cards with the suckers and conversation hearts rather than searching to see if Bobby Joe was in love with me. A desk full of Valentines, I don't think it gets much better.

I'm gonna go look at more Vintage Valentines and see if they inspire this year's gift to myself. I'll leave you with my favorite vintage valentine.


Happy Valentine's Day! Eat more chocolate.

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Knitty Gritty

Growing up, I scoffed at the thought of learning a domestic skill set, I was an aspiring feminist. I gave that nonsense up, now I just pursue world domination. Watch out world, I’m coming for you, one scarf encased neck at a time.

I’m going to turn around now so you can pat my back. I am happy to say, I did it, I survived Elizabeth learns to knit 09-10.

I didn’t even poke my eye out, though I thought about it, about forty hundred times. Now that I’ve conquered the knitters of the universe, I think I’ll take down the seamstresses. I see a cape in my future and a tiara, definitely a tiara.

P.S. Hats off to my best friend, who taught me these mad knitting skills, you can be second in command, Bebs.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

T.G.I.F.

Last Friday night it was a frozen monsoon in Georgia, so I scratched my plans to go to the movies. Instead I ran to the grocery store for a $1 box of Velveeta shells and cheese. Blazed through the McDonalds drive through and ate a hot fudge sundae prior to dinner. Came home put on my fluffy robe and hunkered down, hours of mindless TV only interrupted by shoveling in the shells and copious amounts of twizzlers. I'm either depressed or one liberated woman. This Friday's forecast is predicting snow and setting the bar at a whopping 36 degrees. Um, looks like I'll pause, rewind and play it again Friday. Good thing I like reruns.

P.S. Does anyone have George Hamilton's phone number? I want to proposition him to kidnap me and vanquish me to some warm island until I'm as toasty as his tan.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

And The Band Played On

The scent of white linen perfume and I'm transported, suddenly I'm eight years old dancing in the swimming pool singing Casey Would Waltz with The Strawberry Blonde and thinking of her........


Born at the dawn of the roaring twenties,
Her life reads like a soap opera.
Mama died when she was two
Raised in foster care
The belle of the ball,
She oozes pizzaz
Charm bubbles over
Married five times

Only has one kidney,
Gave her sister the other one
World traveler
Fashion icon
Fashion buyer
Model

Mother
Woman
Janie Belle......
One of my biggest fans
And I hers
Always and forever

Happy 90th Birthday, Granjanie
You're my favorite, for always. 

Click here for more photos on my brothers flickr

Thursday, February 4, 2010

"Mark" My Words

Sound the alarm!
Call out the troops!
Fire up the helicopter!
Help me, Rhonda!
My pink dry erase marker is MIA at work (aka "The Office"). I suspect foul play.

Now, professionalism is my forte
And efficiency is my BFF
But office supplies,
Office supplies are my heart and soul!
Therefore………
This is WAR!
Desk raids will ensue
Operation I want my marker back…….
It’s on, oh it’s on like donkey kong

You might have noticed I have a minor issue with loyalty to inanimate objects, which leads to their imminent personification. It’s easier than a pet and cheaper than a therapist. You should try it, but start with food or dishes they’re pretty faithful, steer clear of toiletries they’re rather fickle.