Friday, May 28, 2010

Merci Beaucoup......

64. for pears
65. for yellow flowers in a red plastic cup
66. for walks that smell of fresh watermelons
67. for walks with driveways filled with cars having a get together of some sort
68. for walks with the sound of babies playing outside
69. for the wide open sky streaked with bright blue and peeks of orange
70. for fields of hay and yellow flowers
71. for a sweet breeze
72. for three day weekends
73. for life

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Nothing At All

Isn't that how it’s supposed to go when you don’t have anything nice to say? Saying nothing at all isn’t an easy task for me. I was nicknamed motor mouth as a child. Genuineness is a character trait that I highly value and esteem. Yet, I too often cross the line between genuineness and just plain negativity. Why is it when you desire and seek to be positive that suddenly you feel besieged and engulfed by a sea of the gripes?

Oh, today I'd like to fly
Up above this flesh and bone
Up above this fallen world
Up where strivings cease
And judgments stop
Up where worries fall
And failures end
Oh, today I'd like to fly
Fears and Foe
Pass me by,
And let me fly

As I struggled to string those words together to mirror my heart, I felt His word come back to my memory. but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;they shall walk and not faint -Isaiah 40:31

To wait, to twist ourselves onto Him who flies, onto Him who rises above all failure. To wait, to fall off, to get back up and twist again. I find hope in knowing I'm not the only one who blows it. "Church girl" will always say it better. Her story of blowing it echoed in my bones, read it. It will humble you and refresh you. All I have to give is nothing, nothing at all. Yet, Christ redeems and renews, again and again.

57. for turquoise and red, together
58. for a fridge full of fruit and veggies
59. for a repaired sentimental necklace and it's reminder of redemption
60. for thanks even when it's a sacrifice
61. for Christ's faithfulness
62. for Come Thou Fount, always hopeful to my ears
63. for dusk

Monday, May 24, 2010

The Great I Am

Blogger boy say's I'm about to hit 100 posts, because he's nerdy cool like that and likes to keep up with details. I kinda love that about him, cause I like some details. But I really think blogger boy should wear something other than orange and blue, poor boy either is color blind or hails from sweet home Alabama and all things Auburn.

I digress as I always do, I'm not here to talk of blogger boy. For as we all know this here is a blog about me, myself and I. Seeing how 100 posts, ok almost 100 posts, entails familiarity I've decided I should let you in on a few little details I've recently discovered about myself.

In honor of it being Sunday and in honor of the Great I am, I shall present these revelations in the form of I am. However, lest the theologians get a hold of this and begin intercession, I am clearly aware that there is only one Great I am. The "I am that I am", yes I found that confusing, I think it means He is everything and that He is more than enough. Period. So you don't have to pray for me unless of course you want to pray for me a husband, in which case please pray talk, dark and handsome, must love Jesus. Thank you and Amen.

I digress, again! Here we go, I am....

I am embarrassed.
I heard from the blind man. He said he's suing unless I set the record straight and tell everyone there are actually instructions with the blinds. They're hidden in the spine of the blind. So there I set the record straight. I still think the blind man is a meanie head, though. This leads to discovery number two.

I am prideful
These days the cows and horses look at me a little too knowingly for they've witnessed my sleeping habits as one bedroom window is still sans blinds. Washing my face is now a sport, I have about a 30 second window to get the job done before the water fills up the sink. Long hair, anyone? I also might start to smell, the shower handle likes to give me a near heart attack by raucously falling onto the floor. Call my land lord, you say? I fear I annoy him, so I try to limit phone calls to um, "Mr. Landlord, water is flooding the bathroom...and the like." So I live this way until I muster up enough humility to say, "Help, I need someone not just anyone."

I am a sugar-aholic
This I've always known, this I've mentioned. However, sometimes the grip it has on me surprises me. For instance, I spent the weekend with a dear friend, who is very a kin to Martha what with her baking skills and dress making and artsy-ness skills. However, dear friend is following in the paths of her husband into all things healthy. She was in the middle of a detox which means NO SUGAR. My heart started to race at the thought of several hours without a sugar fix. "Do you have any sugar, I mean I know you're not eating sugar, but do you have any sugar I can eat?" Words which may or may not have been spoken in a panic. M&Ms and gummy bears were consumed within the first twenty minutes of my arrival home, I wasn't even hungry I just needed my veins to know I am a supporter, a lover, not a hater. They said thank you and I said, "You're welcome with a trip to get an ice cream cone."

I am a solo dessert eater
Shared two desserts recently with lovely friends from high school.  There is a certain code of ethics one must follow when sharing desserts, like take a little bite, put down your fork and wait and wait. You must match the pace and eat in proportion to others appetites. Lest you appear to be a little piggy, who never learned how to share in preschool. Apparently I didn't. I minded my manners over my recent dessert sharing,we even left  a bite on the plate. Tears! I now know to truly enjoy desserts I must engulf them within two minutes, then I must scrape up every, single solitary crumb and lick my plate. So if we ever meet over a piece of sugary heaven, 'no I don't want to go in halfsies and are you going to finish that?'

I am capable of sweating profusely 
Always thought I didn't sweat. Mostly cause exercise and I aren't on speaking terms. Really I don't sweat much, unless you put my lily whiteness out in the 90 degree jaw-jaw sunshine. In that case I sweat more than a pig on the fourth of july. I apologize to all of the sweaters, it really is the pits, I felt like my whole body had wet it's pants. Today's photos are curtsey of  Elizabeth goes sunbathing AKA, "Auntie Em, Auntie Em Help, Help I'm melting......"

I am a cheap skate
Still haven't cut on the air condition. If you come over I will offer you a popsicle, swim suit and a cold dip in the shower or some ice coffee, or not cause.....

I am NOT a barista.
Mmmmmm frappuccinos how difficult can they be? Clearly there are starbucks for a reason. 

That's enough, I'd apologize for my wordiness but you must know by now 
I am a rambler! 

I will close on a sweet note

I am learning to be grateful
52. for sugar
53. for popsicles
54. for gummy bears
55. for McDonalds ice cream cones
56. for frappuccinos, howbeit the starbucks kind

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Dear Darla,

"I'll sell you my pickle for a nickel, how about two cents? O-tay!"  I got nothing, ok, there's my measly quote but I'll spare us all from any incoherent thoughts and simply give you my two cents of the thankful variety. We'll call that a "Deal", pickle and get to it.....

38. for an Athen's "redeemed" weekend
39. for hotdogs
40. for peanut butter cookies that only call for four ingredients
41. for botanical gardens
42. for my orange dress
43. for the anticipation of my birthday
44. for the ability to sprawl out on the couch with your legs propped up and do nothing but talk on the phone
45. for the gilmore girls
46. for friend's thoughtfulness
47. for dip-n-dots
48. for giggling
49. for braves games with senior adults
50. for my bed
51. for hope

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Snap, Crackle, Pop

My posts of late have been long winded, feel-o-sophical tidbits. Tonight, I'll keep it short and talk of two of my favorite things:

One: My birthday, it's officially one month away. Let me know if you want gift ideas and or if you need to know what kind of cake I like. I'm kidding. No, I'm not. I like chocolate cake, and cheese cake, and cookie cake, and ice cream cake.....

Two: Inanimate Objects, I find when I have a strong affinity to said object I talk to it, or her or him whatever it has become. "I love you" is oft spoken to foods that have my heart. 'Ice cream, I'll always be your girl and love you most.' But tonight I have to tip my hat to the cereal. Never been too loyal to the cereal, until now. Wanna know my new favorite?

Why you ask? Cause he says, " I love you, too"

Monday, May 10, 2010

Hallelujah, It's Raining......

It's raining, the good rain, the kind of rain I like. The quite rain, that arrives at the end of the day and calls for pajamas immediately after work. The kind that makes blankets, and couches and books and a hot drink seem like the best idea you've had all day. The good rain makes you pensive in the best possible way.

This kind of rain restores my love of the rain. Unlike the rain we mentioned last go round, I call that the bad kind of rain. Which I'll let lie in my last post. We'll just move onto a weather report of my weekend which was sunny and bright with only a few drops of rain.

I had my Saturday to myself, sometime last year I named these "me days." Days when I have absolutely nowhere to go, days I can just be . My mother assures me this is not selfish, that it's healthy and a time to rest. My mother's approval of my "me days" is reason four hundred and fifty nine gazillion of why I love my mother. "Me days" take various shapes and forms and occasionally evolve into non "me days." I fully intend to incorporate "me days" into a future prenup agreement. You don't have to pray for me, I don't want anyones money, I just don't want to be cold or live with mice.  And I find some time to myself makes me much less cantankerous. Now I know an entire "me day" is unrealistic for many people, so I'll throw in I believe the same effect can come from eating an ice cream cone pre dinner and swinging your worries away at a local park.  Sunshine on my weekend, it was nice.

The rain drops hit taking my Granjanie back to her nursing home after our Mother's day dinner. My Granjanie has full blown dementia and can barely walk. She now lives in "wheels." The staff call her "speedy" due to how fast she gets around in her wheelchair. She also has more grace and rhythm on four wheels than I'll ever hope to have on two feet.

All that to state she needs full time twenty-four hour care. My mom visits multiple times a week and weekly takes my Grandmother to church. Last night she was confused as usual and did not want to stay at the nursing home. It was heart wrenching. I would have much preferred to be swept away by a tidal wave than to watch my Granjanie's frustration and hurt and her hurt drown my mother's heart.

It was a fresh reminder that life is not fair and oft smells like a wet dog after a muddy 'bad rain'. I do not know why I felt compelled to share that, I guess it's my personal reminder of the need to be thankful. To look for the good rain that comes right along with the bad rain.

Boy can I ramble! If you're still here, God bless you. In honor of the rain I'll drop some thanks onto my 1,000 thanks list.

24. for me days
25. for sushi
26. for whatever smelled so good on my walk
27. for sunrises
28. for good books
29. for the grace to survive self-inflicted sleep deprivation
30. for coffee
31. for a yummy scone
32. for painted toenails
33. for family that never changes despite bumps and bruises
34. for God's Word
35. for a movie that made me laugh
36. for being a girl, i'd have made an awful boy
37. for growth

That's it! Until next time, I hope you get a refreshing moment to yourself and a downpour of good rain that bring forth showers of blessings.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head

Last night I found a 'mouse nest' hiding in an obscure spot snickering at my watchful, hawk eye for the clean girl. While demolishing it's, and or their home, I started brewing a diatribe of a blog post. I'm sure at some point it'll show up replete with photos. We'll all need therapy once it's out there in cyber space.For now I just don't have it in me to talk about my paranoia and the thing I fear. 

I rocked my inner kindergartner on New Year's day and made a list of pursuits for twenty-ten, with crayola crayons.  "Study Joy" found its way up holy alley and landed on my list. I have yet to study joy, but I think joy's studying me.

I discovered recently that when I pray I use my manners and dot my prayers with words like joy and grace. Such as, "Lord, let my time in Nashville be filled with joy. Lord, help my Athens weekend be filled with love and grace." I say my prayers and then sometimes find myself asking, "did you hear me? I asked for joy."  Last week I believe I got my answer, it went something like, "Baby girl, I think you mean you want an easy road full of your ideals and wishes." I replied, "I think you're right. Lord, I want an easy road and happy things that go my way kind of weekend." And that's how joy began staring me down.

I've got my suspicions that when I study joy I'll find it's a choice. You chose it, You chose to be thankful and grateful when you go to Nashville for the weekend and it floods and you lose power and have to come home a day later than you planned. And when you don't get the hotdog you asked for. I said hotdogs, not sure He heard that either.  You choose joy and you find it in counting the good, you find it in giving thanks.....

16. for being holed up in a powerless house with a fantastic chef who still feeds you sans power
17. for a friend who drives you to the mall to see a Tim Gunn fashion show at the beginning of the monsoon.
18. for a baby who might just attempt your mouthful of a name
19. for speed scrabble, even when you never win
20. for belly laughs on road trips
21. for safety and protection and mercy in a crazy crisis
22. for best friends and their moms and their family who feel more like your family than your friends
23. for knowing somebody loves you

I'm not an overly grateful person, if I was to be counting 1,000 complaints we'd close shop tomorrow. Maybe once joy and I quit our stand off, I'll make her more a part of my life. Cause rain it does, sometimes it rains gumdrops and lemon drops and I get my way. It also rains mouse nests and yuck, just ask Nashville. Don't get me wrong I'm still gonna pray for gumdrops. But who knows joy just might be the umbrella to the downpour rains. I'll keep you posted. I said 1,000 thanks, right?