Monday, May 24, 2010

The Great I Am

Blogger boy say's I'm about to hit 100 posts, because he's nerdy cool like that and likes to keep up with details. I kinda love that about him, cause I like some details. But I really think blogger boy should wear something other than orange and blue, poor boy either is color blind or hails from sweet home Alabama and all things Auburn.

I digress as I always do, I'm not here to talk of blogger boy. For as we all know this here is a blog about me, myself and I. Seeing how 100 posts, ok almost 100 posts, entails familiarity I've decided I should let you in on a few little details I've recently discovered about myself.

In honor of it being Sunday and in honor of the Great I am, I shall present these revelations in the form of I am. However, lest the theologians get a hold of this and begin intercession, I am clearly aware that there is only one Great I am. The "I am that I am", yes I found that confusing, I think it means He is everything and that He is more than enough. Period. So you don't have to pray for me unless of course you want to pray for me a husband, in which case please pray talk, dark and handsome, must love Jesus. Thank you and Amen.

I digress, again! Here we go, I am....

I am embarrassed.
I heard from the blind man. He said he's suing unless I set the record straight and tell everyone there are actually instructions with the blinds. They're hidden in the spine of the blind. So there I set the record straight. I still think the blind man is a meanie head, though. This leads to discovery number two.

I am prideful
These days the cows and horses look at me a little too knowingly for they've witnessed my sleeping habits as one bedroom window is still sans blinds. Washing my face is now a sport, I have about a 30 second window to get the job done before the water fills up the sink. Long hair, anyone? I also might start to smell, the shower handle likes to give me a near heart attack by raucously falling onto the floor. Call my land lord, you say? I fear I annoy him, so I try to limit phone calls to um, "Mr. Landlord, water is flooding the bathroom...and the like." So I live this way until I muster up enough humility to say, "Help, I need someone not just anyone."

I am a sugar-aholic
This I've always known, this I've mentioned. However, sometimes the grip it has on me surprises me. For instance, I spent the weekend with a dear friend, who is very a kin to Martha what with her baking skills and dress making and artsy-ness skills. However, dear friend is following in the paths of her husband into all things healthy. She was in the middle of a detox which means NO SUGAR. My heart started to race at the thought of several hours without a sugar fix. "Do you have any sugar, I mean I know you're not eating sugar, but do you have any sugar I can eat?" Words which may or may not have been spoken in a panic. M&Ms and gummy bears were consumed within the first twenty minutes of my arrival home, I wasn't even hungry I just needed my veins to know I am a supporter, a lover, not a hater. They said thank you and I said, "You're welcome with a trip to get an ice cream cone."

I am a solo dessert eater
Shared two desserts recently with lovely friends from high school.  There is a certain code of ethics one must follow when sharing desserts, like take a little bite, put down your fork and wait and wait. You must match the pace and eat in proportion to others appetites. Lest you appear to be a little piggy, who never learned how to share in preschool. Apparently I didn't. I minded my manners over my recent dessert sharing,we even left  a bite on the plate. Tears! I now know to truly enjoy desserts I must engulf them within two minutes, then I must scrape up every, single solitary crumb and lick my plate. So if we ever meet over a piece of sugary heaven, 'no I don't want to go in halfsies and are you going to finish that?'

I am capable of sweating profusely 
Always thought I didn't sweat. Mostly cause exercise and I aren't on speaking terms. Really I don't sweat much, unless you put my lily whiteness out in the 90 degree jaw-jaw sunshine. In that case I sweat more than a pig on the fourth of july. I apologize to all of the sweaters, it really is the pits, I felt like my whole body had wet it's pants. Today's photos are curtsey of  Elizabeth goes sunbathing AKA, "Auntie Em, Auntie Em Help, Help I'm melting......"

I am a cheap skate
Still haven't cut on the air condition. If you come over I will offer you a popsicle, swim suit and a cold dip in the shower or some ice coffee, or not cause.....

I am NOT a barista.
Mmmmmm frappuccinos how difficult can they be? Clearly there are starbucks for a reason. 

That's enough, I'd apologize for my wordiness but you must know by now 
I am a rambler! 

I will close on a sweet note

I am learning to be grateful
52. for sugar
53. for popsicles
54. for gummy bears
55. for McDonalds ice cream cones
56. for frappuccinos, howbeit the starbucks kind

1 comment:

  1. Oh dearest, we have mucho in common.

    Have you tried the fraps at McDonald's yet?! I lurve them!!! Cheaper than Bux too!


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