Sunday, June 6, 2010

5,000 Pieces

Puzzle pieces would fall from the sky on the old fat gray game boy and I'd energetically arrange them into straight lines. The higher my rows of puzzle pieces in their rightful order grew, the faster the pieces fell, until eventually they took over and engulfed the screen, game over.

Lately it seems my life is a game of Tetris, puzzle pieces falling, only I can't get them in order. While I know better days must be on the horizon, and while I know there are so many, many things to give thanks for I find myself under the blaze of the puzzle pieces wanting to throw up my hands and to yell," go on, bury me. "

Homeless, that's about to be me. No more girl who lives in barn. As of last Saturday I must relocate by July 1st. I have commitment phobia, so I live in a barn apartment with no lease, because it doesn't sound as scary as legally binding, please sign here. So now I'm on the flip side of no lease. My apartment is needed for family members of my landlord who are in crisis. That's my square peg.

My round hole is my car who may or may not be trying to murder me, more likely may. As he has now  attempted to "play dead" twice while I was going round about 60. He actually went one better than attempted, he straight up died and then came back to life and then died? Towed away to Mr. Mechanic who is probably at home eating steak sleeping pretty on 1,000 thread count sheets, because of the percentage of my pocket book he's had access to in the past two months.

Here I am working a puzzle I really don't want to be working, in my month. Seriously it's June my month of life, it's supposed to be June, party all month not June, the sky is falling.

Would love to tell you that I've been the poster child for Gratefulness, but it ain't so. I've been woefully singing Tom Dooley, internally judging folks, throwing pity parties and threatening to go eat worms.

The sacrifice of praise will forever be etched in my memory with my mom's retelling of witnessing a widow with five children raising her hands in praise, worshipping at the funeral of her husband. While I mope, while I wait on the completion of the puzzle, while I fail, while I get up, while I try again, I rest knowing praise is there waiting for me, to remind me that  life is good amidst uncertainty and so is Christ, who sees the completed puzzle.

Plucking away at 1,000 thanks from under my little black rain cloud.
Giving thanks
74. For friends who feed you cheetos and help you make birthday party invitations
75. For creativity
76. For pretty paper
77. For a best friend
78. For june day picnics
79. For dollar flowers
80. For strawberry bread
81. For an upcoming week off
82. For my prayer journal
83. For my job
84. For my health
85. For my mom
86. For my little barn apartment
87. For sunshine
88. For rainy days
89. For pretty clothes
90. For party plans
91. For wisdom from friends
92. For days to be quiet
93. For days to be sad

2 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday Month! I'm sorry that life is throwing you so many monkey wrenches.

    Funny, I'd never thought about the phrase "We bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the Lord" until now. You enlighten me, dear Elizabeth.

    Love and hugs.

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  2. Sweet Elizabeth. . . please don't go and eat worms. Joy is always there waiting for us to grab ahold of her. . . Let the joy of the LORD be your strength. . . I'm so sorry June is not being very good to you. . . but maybe June is? You just can't see it yet. Have you found a place to live yet?

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