Thursday, July 29, 2010

These Feet Were Made For Talking....

I was hit on the other night while walking. Don't be impressed, the cat call was from little boy teeny boppers in heat and unfortunately with wheels. The only response I could drum up that wouldn't shame the baptist union of which I am employed was, "I'm not impressed by your hormones." I resorted to a cold shoulder and a swift glare. I don't think it'll happen again. I haven't washed clothes in over three weeks. And it only goes down hill from this point. The sock drawer is down to wool or lifesaver multi stripes? For good measure if you find yourself walking in neon green shorts, high water feet sweltering socks and the shirt you wore to work, for the first time in a month you'll meet folks on the road.

I'd love to stick around and further enlighten you to random tidbits and confessions from my life such as I ate an entire bell pepper yesterday and I still haven't rescued any plates from the cardboard. Things like
80 % of my belongings are still wherever they landed on moving day. Or I could tell you I'm finally admitting I have a Tom Hanks crush. Joe Fox settles it, I love Tom. But I am not going to tell you any of that, because I'm going to go eat ice cream and watch Seinfeld.

And to all a good night. Please click here if you want the minutes of your life back you just wasted reading this rousing round of rambling non-essentials. Don't worry I'll be here all week. No I won't, I'll be eating ice cream and thinking about Tom.

Seriously-I'm Finished
Count Your Blessings

162. for sweet readers who actually read my gibberish
163. for warm oatmeal with fresh peaches
164. for green bell peppers
165. for tomorrow being Friday
166. for white horses
167. for second chances

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Little Girls are Made Of...

Katie, at the pencil box posed the question of inner ten year olds. She was wondering what her younger self must think of what life had become. She wondered if others too thought of the younger versions of themselves. Yes, Katie, Yes I do.

And sometimes when my inner ten year old wants to know where my husband, kids, convertible and life time guarantee of happiness are, I find the best thing to do is take her to the park. 

Let her swing. 

And then buy her an ice cream cone and tell her to shut up and come back when she's twenty nine. 

editors note: if you go to the park by yourself in the middle of the day and also take pictures of yourself, you will have the park to yourself. To anyone who might have been at the park, i pinky promise on the Bible i'm not a baby snatcher or a creep, just a mildly depressed twenty nine year old. 

153. For days at the park
154. For swings
155. For ice cream shops
156. For blogs
157. For impromptu visits with friends
158. For railroad tracks 
159. For walks through downtowns
160. For clutches 
161. For joy in the simple things 

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Bye Bye Birdie

My sense of humor is a funny sort of thing. I appreciate a good funny, haha, hehe. Bravo to the puns, cheers to the witty. My brain will make the ascent, acknowledging someone or something's humor but my laugh doesn't always follow. For whatever reason I don't laugh that easily. So when I do get a good belly laugh it makes my day. The trouble is the things that bring out the laugh in me are normally so very ironic. For instance some guy flipped me off tonight, gave me the finger, and yelled real loud, I assume in hopes I was a lip reader. Poor guy, I'm not. Even poorer poor guy, it struck me as hilarious. Silly road rage struck me as laugh out loud funny. We were at a red light so my can't stop laughing was very apparent. I don't think he found it funny. I should write him a letter...

Dear Poor Guy,
I'm sorry I sorta cut you off. I'm sorry you didn't interpret my this is the sorry hand, I know I don't drive too well. But I'm not sorry I made you flipping mad. I needed a good life, thank you.
P.S. 1990 called they want their perm back. Now that wasn't nice, I know. 
Heehhheee Haahhha I mean, have a nice day.

Girl Who Ticked You Off

150. For a good laugh
151. For a good reminder anger really affects you most
152. For forgiveness

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Top of the Morning

I've lived here for over two weeks and only this morning scrounging up my breakfast did I realize I didn't know where my plates were. I've survived two weeks without a plate. One can indeed survive off of ice cream novelties, fruit, publix sushi and the occasional carrot. This girl is proof. Oh you poor little male suitors, I hope you can cook or at least like honey nut cheerios.

It was a grey morning, hazy, cloudy, overcast, breezy, it matched my mood perfectly. I love when that happens, when the air, and the sky and all that makes up weather magically mirror your state of being. To me it's natures way of saying I know, I understand, I feel you.

My morning was good. It was restful, calm, pensive and thinky. My new house has a screened in porch, I think it's my favorite.

This morning I sat out there for hours until it was humid, hot and sticky. I ate my breakfast, drank my coffee, wrote long overdue thank you notes, wrote in my prayer journal, read my Bible, and thought and thought some more.

Thanks from my today, my Sunday...

130. for sleeping in
131. for quiet days
132. for fresh cherries
133. for whipped cream
134. for shopping with gift cards
135. for a new purplish, pinkish swim suit
136. for screened in porches
137. for white coffee mugs
138. for blogs
139. for apple eating while walking through a deserted down town, your down town with your post office.
140. for singing along to old school country ballads
141. for children and parents shopping in stores
142. for mommies asking their little girls opinions, "this one or that one?"
143. for a glimpse of the highway
144. for shampooed hair
145. for shaved legs
146. for a spritz of perfume
147. for things that smell pretty
148. for things that don't smell pretty to remind you to be thankful for things that do
149. for His mercy that is new every morning.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Toilet Bowl

Where have you been Billy Boy, Billy Boy? Where have you been charming Billy? If you both know and appreciate the remaining lyrics we can be BFFs.

“I thought you went to feed the hogs and done got it!” A phrase my surrogate family taught me to use in times of prolonged absence. I have not been to feed the hogs but I do believe I done got it, by all things ugly. "I feel like I slept with the devil last night" is a term I give to days washed in the blood of humanity. Only this time it wasn’t a day it was days. I was about to be the devil’s common in law wife and bear his evil spawn, which I would aptly name rotten, selfish, angry, and spoiled.

I’ve got issues. So does the new man in my life.

Scout’s honor he’s male, no self-respecting women would allow herself to get in his predicament. Trust me the booger is clean. He’s been bleached, scrubbed, chemically treated and he's bore witness to umpteen other cleaners.

He reminds me of me as a Christian. I am clean only because of God’s grace, yet to sit awhile with me is to know I don’t always act clean. I bear the stains of humanity. And that at&t knows very well. My only hope is a new toilet, I think I understand the great white throne a little better. I find myself longing a bit more for the day when the fight over this flesh and bone is done. And until then I rest in knowing He views me as clean, because Christ and only Christ has made me so.

So that’s where I’ve been, Billy Boy. Acting like Satan’s mistress to At&t, moving boxes, living without internet, stomping feet, throwing fits. Cleaning toilets, being human and remembering I’m Christ’s not Satan’s. And on that I’ll put the seat down and flush this thing with some thanks.

120. For toilets
121. For the ability to be honest before God
122. For friends who don't judge your anger
123. For friends who let you wallow for a bit
124. For mom's who love you anyways
125. For drumsticks and klondikes in my freezer
126. For having the world wide web back up and running
127. For brothers who join your blog
128. For Titus 3:5
"not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us through the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Spirit."
129. For forgiveness

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Just finished a bowl of ice cream.  I sat on the couch staring at the boxes that have taken over my residence pondering the appropriateness of my ice cream choice for the week. Overload, Breyers Overload. I am a subconscious frozen foods genius. Moving week equals overload.  Overload of boxes, overload of stuff, overload of to do's, overload of emotions. My emotional tank is usually rather full throw in a move and I think I need a life jacket.

Even if you're a girl who prides herself on living her life somewhat clutter free and who habitually purges junk, when you move you'll look at your things and think one thing: Overload. Do we really need all of our gadgets and gizmos, and thingamabobs? Suppose so since all of mine are hiding under cardboard and tape. It does something to you to see part of your world reduced to a pile of boxes ready for the next step.

Leaving the barn apartment in two days for a big ole house. A big ole house I've never even been in, sight unseen. But I'll take it knowing it must be better than some potential rentals I viewed. Just think second hand smoke induced lung cancer, STD's and me as the star of the next lifetime movie. Jesus saved me from my over dramatization and has provided a house for me to move to and that's a blessing. A huge blessing. Which leads me to my final overload. Praise when I stop and take the time to count blessings not gripes I always find myself overloaded by His mercy.

Two women looked through prison walls
One Saw Mud
The Other Saw Stars.

No doubt by default I'm neck deep in mud but by His grace learning to notice the stars. Giving thanks...

105. For friends who get you boxes
106. For a mom who brings you boxes
107. For a mom who packs your boxes
108. For a mom who hugs you and says it will be ok
109. For hot pink fat bats
110. For water
111. For black sharpie markers
112. For hot showers
113. For people who pray for you
114. For people who are willing to help you move
115. For people who care about you
116. For people who let you live in their houses
117. For His ever presence
118. For His abundant grace
119. For His faithfulness to me an overloaded stinker