Monday, April 18, 2011

Heads Up

Sunday my eyes opened late and my head sunk heavy and longed to burrow within the comfort and sleep all day like a cat in the rays of the sun. Muddled mind tired from a Saturday that had me gone from dark to dark begrudgingly my sleepyhead crawled out of bed. Like a bowl full of mush wishing to be the little old lady who'd hush went my mind spinning through the to do's and the should and the should nots, the gray and the black and the whites. Scenarios and time frames played to the tune of a grumpy disposition. I poured the coffee and headed for the porch Bible and journal trailing me. All the mind could think was when and how and my hair days dirty and to church or not to church loomed largest on the brain that runs like a mouse on a wheel.

And I pulled a shouldn't, according to the scholars, I laid open the Word to the Psalms and where the eyes landed I read:



1 The earth is the LORD’s, and all its fullness,
The world and those who dwell therein.
2 For He has founded it upon the seas,
And established it upon the waters.
3 Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.
5 He shall receive blessing from the LORD,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
6 This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him, Who seek Your face.  Selah
7 Lift up your heads, O you gates!
And be lifted up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of glory shall come in.
8 Who is this King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
The LORD mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, O you gates!
Lift up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of glory shall come in.
10 Who is this King of glory?
The LORD of hosts,
He is the King of glory.  Selah
Psalm 24
'Lift up your head' over and over struck me as I pondered anew what was the right decision. 'Lift up your head', so I did. I flung my head back on the chair and drank in the morning sun like a soul parched from the desert. And I didn't go to church. I work for the church, I value the church and I have lived the steadiness all my life of attending church like the steadiness of brushing my teeth. Yet, sometimes the richest times I have of seeking His face are the days I attend church party of two, me and the Holy Spirit in the pew of the wide world.

In times past verse 3 and 4 have struck a chord of fear in me at the utter realization of the murkiness of my heart and the imperfections of hands dirtied by flesh.


3 Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD?
Or who may stand in His holy place?
4 He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.

Fear that I might miss Him and watch His glory pass through unclean hands. This reading pounded down truth. Hands and hearts can only be cleansed in the lifting up of the head. We can do nothing apart from Him, He is our righteousness, He is our portion, the lifter of our heads and the washer of our hands and the purifier of our hearts. So easily I focus on my hands as though I can do anything for Him who is above all things. Lifting up my head mentally steering my mind to the knowledge of the King of Glory who dwells within and fills and washes over and over. My encouragement is when your brain bounces like rubber and your heartbeats low with fear and failure, Heads up. 

Grateful for gifts from the King of Glory

533. for cookies from Malley ever abundant
534. for a braid that holds all day and doesn't hurt 
535. for recovered $3
536. for texts trusting and asking for my prayers
537. for humbleness from my boss
538. for dinner's smell
539. for Ivy the dog, who walks with me
540. for movies with friends and swedish fish
541. for true grit, it was good
542. for a nemesis rallying positive
543. for bright sunshine
544. for wholesome food
545. for easy, yummy, chocolate chip cookies
546. for drinking in Sunday sun with a lifted head
547. for a walk to the country store for a popsicle
548. for pastel Easter eggs
549. for talking to babies
550. for fellowship with Traci
551. for a good CASA conference
552. for the lifter of my head










2 comments:

  1. Beautiful. . . absolutely beautiful!

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  2. "And I didn't go to church. I work for the church, I value the church .... Yet, sometimes the richest times I have of seeking His face are the days I attend church party of two, me and the Holy Spirit in the pew of the wide world" .... Finally someone said what I've thought for years ... I too have experienced some of the richest times just He & I. Being a part of 'The Body' is important as well (I'm a firm believer in that) but some times quiet time (alone with The Father, The Son & The Holy Ghost) just the Trinity & me is just the ticket. Thank you for your honesty & your willingness to share.

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